at grandmas

I remember ChiChi
The way she shuffled out of the back bedroom in her satin nightgown, boobs hanging to her knees and she'd always need to scratch her belly and blow out lots of air with this high pitched wooing sound. Her eyes were squinty but then there's that smile like she loves us even though we dragged out all the blankets and all the doll houses, books, board games, movies and barbies. And Wonnie's on her way down the hall with our order of Dr. Pepper with the huge crescent ice cubes and that stew pot of popcorn. All the butter and salt soaked in on the very best pieces.

And after our bath we would sleep with ChiChi in her king bed with the mauve round pillows. we would all squeeze in and right before bed time Wonnie brought apples with the skin peeled all cut up like little moons and we would eat them and it didn't matter that we'd already brushed our teeth. mom would have made us brush again, but not here in the big bed next to ChiChi, who smelled like thick hydrangeas even at bedtime.

Charlotte

I found a homeless kitty.
there was leftover chocolate cake in the fridge.
she liked it so I let her in.
now i feed her canned liver and leave out water.
She is a horrible tawny brown and I feel sorry for her tail.
there's a poof right at the base and then it abrupty thins.
I am embarassed for her.
She makes me sneeze.
But she has good eyes and these long hairs coming out her ears.
And I think she's teaching me how to love.
Her sandpaper tongue licks my cheek and I think I'm falling in love.

church

i made a decision today.
i believe in church government.
i believe in belonging to something big.
bigger than ourselves.
ourselves are sinful and if left to our own will
we will veer off course and create towers of Babel.
we need leadership. structure.
we need God's word and his law.
because in it there is joy and freedom and grace.
the church needs grace because it is filthy
dressed in rags.
waiting for the bridegroom.

Funeral

My frog died.
He was bluish and crispy and floating wrong side up, down at the bottom of the tank.
It was my fault.
It was Ice Storm 07 and I was in a rush to evacuate.
Get all the important things.
All the survival essentials.
I forgot the frog.
I returned 3 days later to survey property damage.
I found him damaged.
Dead.
So mom made a tiny coffin and dad buried him at the top of the hill.
Rest in peace little toad.
Come back as a prince in your next life.
And look me up when you get here.