pain killer

get him a prescription for pain meds to go home with, make it Percocet 20.

this was my assignment. and this is how it was carried out.

i am awesome. i think to myself as i stroll toward North 7B Nurses station. Reason #1 why I am awesome: I got lost for only 30 minutes, managing to make it to work in under one hour today. Reason #2 why I am awesome: I just successfully drew a CBC. By. My. Self. (nevermind this skill was in the objectives for first year of medical school) So I walk my bomb dot com self over to an open computer and begin to find the computerized prescription pad and search "PERCOCET". uh. wow. There's like 50,000 PERCOCET choices here. ok wait what EXACTLY did he mean by 20. um, was it the milligrams. No. that is definitely not an option here. Was it the dispense number? No. that makes no sense. Hmm. I'm not sure. So as I sit there for 30 minutes debating Percocet 2.5 vs. 5 vs. 7.5 vs vs vs vs vs, I notice the patient's large scary Bronx style nurse growing increasingly agitated at my procrastination. I can't ask the resident again, I'll look like a fool. I decide to call life line. "Dad, I need to know what you give your patients for post-op pain meds." He proceeds to suggest medications they haven't offered in the Bronx for decades. Thanks. Ok, just pick something. Percocet 5. Lets go with it. And...I vaguely remember something about q4, so we'll go with that. and yeah, lets give him enough for a week...or a month? Ahhhh. Ok lets just do 30 tabs, right? Yeah ok. And hit Print and Yes. I am so awesome. I gaze over at the prescription printer and notice it seems to be printing quite a few prescriptions. I do my cool walk over to the machine to take a look at one of the slips of paper. Percocet 5-325mg q4h PRN Pain. Dispense 3,000 tabs. NOOOOOOOO...... Oh no oh no. That is incorrect. Very incorrect. I rush back to the computer to change the dosing. Ok what is happening here?Why won't it stop printing? Oh shit balls. I suddenly look down in the bottom right corner of the screen. I'd completed the task too quickly. Become too confident in my swagger. Not only was the patient going to receive 3,000 Percocet tabs. But i'd also have 3,000 copies of this prescription to offer him at discharge. Redfaced and horrified, I began manhandling the printer with my kung fu elbow punches, drawing the attention of the majority of the large scary Bronx nurses. Minutes and minutes and minutes later, the machine finally surrenders and I begin shoveling Percocet prescriptions into the itty bitty HIPAA hole. Yeah. I am awesome.
Peace out,
E