Sunday February 22nd
Last Friday the Vellore Four successfully completed our rotation at the Christian Medical Center. We had exactly one week until our jet left for home, so we decided to attempt to tour the entirety of India before that time. Carly revealed that she might know some people who know some people in Bangalore and we quickly took her up on hunting down her snazzy connections and living it up in the big city. After a request for a “Big Car with Big Trunk for Big Bags and Big Girls” we were surprised to see Smart Car’s Miniature Little Sister Car pull through the circle drive and pop the so-called “trunk”. After teetering 8 overpacked female suitcases on the roof of the car and receiving a bonus lesson in skillful knot tying from our driver, we began the 4 hour journey from Vellore to Bangalore. Over the course of the evening our ETA was extended from 8:30pm to 11:30pm with a rather large glitch in travel plans owing to Smart Car driver being the ultimate worst male driver of all time. Imagine this…stubborn male driver in front seat and four overly opinionated back seat female drivers in a town that ZERO of the FIVE persons has visited in their lifetimes and what you end up with is THREE hours of Smart Car stuck on India’s version of the Dupont Circle from Hell. An anonymous member of the V-four eventually offered the intelligent suggestion of electing two members to hail a rickshaw operated by a Bangalore local and to have stubborn male driver follow the local, while the two elected members hang precariously out the sides of the rickshaw wearing headlamps and providing instructive hand signals to stubborn male driver. In what can only be ascribed to as an act of God, the Vellore Four arrived at Carly’s snazzy set up, a “guesthouse compound” of Amitabh, Car’s friend of a friend. I will define “Guesthouse Compound” for you now. This term means 6 stories of sheer gorgeous heaven constructed of glass and marble and security guards and personal chefs and fresh cut flowers and really squishy pillows. We were all pretty happy to say the least, and in the words of Liz, “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this happy. Maybe my wedding day. But I don’t know. This is a really close second.” On Saturday we decided to have the ultimate Girl’s Day Out and started by burning some Rupees on silk scarves at the infamous Mysore Silk Emporium. After some overpriced salads at the popular Leela Palace Hotel garden restaurant, we begged a spa joint to allow our filthy feet inside for the best pedicures of our lives. We probably should have autoclaved from the toes up before making those unsuspecting women touch our feet, but nonetheless it was wonderful. After our pedis we caught a rickshaw to the movies where we spent 200 rupees each to indulge in the ultimate chick flick “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Although entrance into the Indian Cinema involved the most violating security screening and pat down experience of our lives, the surprise allotted Intermission time during the show and the concession stand menu totally made up for it. What’s happening here is that about halfway through your movie these people are pausing the flick just so you have a chance to visit the “Hot and Savory Corn Stand”. This stand is cooking up a revolution in movie corn snacking. Boiled corn kernels, buttered and salted, and placed in a tiny popcorn bucket. Spoon included. Carly and I already have a plan for the U.S.A. branch of “Hot and Savory”. So you just go ahead and back off. After the movie it was a race against the clock to make it to Bangalore’s Hard Rock Café before close. We know, we know. It’s the ultimate pathetic tourist thing to do. But dammit, we needed some beef and it’s the only place in town selling it. Four cheeseburgers and fries later, it was back to our “compound” for a good nights sleep. Sunday was a road trip to Mysore, home of a gazillion palaces and shrines to guys we’ve never heard of. The trip was made in a minivan, the price for which we split with some med students we met back in Vellore. We scrunched 8 people into a 6 person minivan for a 4 hour car ride with the worst driver in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. (second only to stubborn male driver mentioned above) A bunch of oncoming cars and curvy cliffs and hail Mary’s later we arrived at the tomb of a guy we’d never heard of and then we visited the same guy’s summer home. So that was memorable. We took pics. And then it was back in the car and on to Mysore Palace. Ok now this place was actually very legit. Huge. Gorgeous. Awesome. Beautiful. And, oh yeah. Sorry, they don’t allow cameras so you will never lay eyes on this wonder unless you visit India. But I’ll summarize in a nutshell for you that this is a big palace for the Maharajas in the area. It changed hands quite a bit throughout history and burned down one time after a wedding cake caught fire. But it’s here now and they offer elephant rides in the driveway and like all other tourist spots have a shitdevil monkey infestation. The best part about the palace was a gigantic Marriage Pavilion room with all these murals and arches. I would have enjoyed this area longer if it wasn’t for my unfortunate run in with the Indian police who wrongly accused me and confused me with another short white female who was photographing in the palace. The last stop on our minivan tour was Chamundi Hill. This is basically a big hill that unexpecting travelers drive all the way up to discover the only thing to see here is another monkey colony. Only these little guys are way more evolved and are actually just asking tourists for spare cash and minivans. Uh, so we left and went back to Bangalore and the “compound” and packed our bags for an early morning Varanasai flight. And we aren’t inviting any of those monkeys.
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